I’ve known about the sunflower lanyard for a while. It’s a quiet signal—a way to say, “Please be patient, not everything is visible.” But deep down, I never really wanted Matthias to wear it.
Maybe it’s because he never keeps it on. Maybe it’s because I didn’t want to add another label to his already complicated world. Or maybe… I just wasn’t ready. Every time he took it off and threw it somewhere, it felt like another reminder that nothing about this is simple.
Shopping with Matthias was never simple. Even a quick trip to the store could feel overwhelming. He would run around, scream, hug strangers, smell people’s clothes, and sometimes grab things and toss them into other people’s carts. I never knew what to expect. One day, a man got so upset that he pushed Matthias away. He fell. Sat on the floor, confused. And my heart broke.
After that, I stopped bringing him with me. Or if I had no choice, I placed my 42-kilo, five-foot-tall boy in the shopping cart—because it was the only way I could keep him safe.
Then this summer, with school out and just the two of us together, I reached a point where I told myself: maybe… maybe it’s time.
So I put the old sunflower lanyard around his neck again.
And something shifted.
He ran up to an elderly woman in the walking street, kissed her cheek—his way of connecting. I held my breath. But the woman just smiled gently and said, “He is very allowed.”
Later, while I was paying at the checkout, Matthias sat on the floor. Calm. Unbothered. And no one scolded him. No one looked at me like I was failing. No one asked, “What’s wrong with him?”
I honestly think it was the necklace.
It didn’t change Matthias. It didn’t change me.
But somehow… it changed the world around us.
And that’s the quiet power of visibility. Not for attention. Not for sympathy. But simply to say, “Please see us. Please understand.”
If you’ve ever wondered why someone wears a sunflower lanyard—this is why.
Not because our children need fixing.
But because society still has so much to learn about invisible differences.
🌻
Everyday with Special Strength 